We all have that one family member that arrives at the party uninvited. They’re the one who we know we should save a plate for but dread if we do or if we don’t because we never know when and if they’ll be around, or what kind of necessary chaos they will bring this time. This family member sometimes makes us face the harshest truths about ourselves. They make us see what we have been desperately trying to escape. Sometimes they bring the revolution to our doorstep, when some of us are “all lives matter” and “i don’t see color”. This family member is usually the shadow that no one can get around to make themselves too comfortable with because, well, we’re afraid of shadows aren’t we?
Death is this family member.
Death likes to peak its head in and linger. It likes to remind us of the fragility of life, in a world of false control and illusion. But we’ve misunderstood. Death doesn’t mean to be scary, we just can’t seem to understand it. Death is the reality of life that we can’t grasp or make sense of and instead have pushed away into an abyss. And just as any child that is neglected, darkness builds from within and expands, wanting to swallow up anything in its path because, we can’t just push reality away and expect it to disappear.
Changing the way we perceive endings and fears, will shoot a healing meteor of light into the dark hole of death – lessening its intensity. Inviting an inner dialogue of honesty, compassion and understanding to our relationship to death is a form of liberation. If we look around at all of life, death is around us continuously. The day dies during sunset and is rebirthed during sunrise, because right beside death is new life. Life and death exist in tandem. But, there is the passage, there is the night, the Winter, the Birth canal, that we must push ourselves through to get to the other side, to new life.
But first, we must face the dark.
The dark may come in form of grief, anger, shame, loss, sadness, shadows, anxiety, depression, loneliness, solitude, crippling pain. All things we want to run away from but can’t escape. Sometimes, we require peer or professional support and guidance to help us move through this stage. Sometimes, we must do this work on our own and call on the support of the divine/god/universe/ancestors/light. There is no shame in any of this, we all experience Death. It requires being completely honest with ourselves to know what our needs are while we grieve, so as not to remain stuck or lost. And we may be surprised to find that after welcoming Death in a few times, that there is treasure to be carved out of the depths. That we are phoenixs, consistently rising from the ashes in our purest forms.
We WANT to get to the other side, there is always life ahead. THERE IS ALWAYS LIFE AHEAD.